Sitting in my home, squashing mosquitoes in the dark and watching IPL with 2 intermittent power cuts is all I need to kill my time every day. The sense of hollow contribution to a nation’s favorite pastime gives my life a new meaning. It’s not that I have not seen a million sixes and fours in my life earlier on TV, it’s just for taking a side and commenting rubbish on my friends wall in FB against their teams. Who wouldn't love that?
Intriguingly enough, the thing that I’ve been concerned about is the army of mind-numbed people grooving to 'Jumping Japang' that it is breeding every day. I mean, I am OK with the initiative that BCCI has taken up to create at least 10 million cheerleaders in India by the end of this season. But seriously, they could have atleast not shown the hairy orangutan of man dancing on the instructions of its ringmaster (read Farah Khan). From the news in smaller print it was revealed that they had initially hired a real orangutan, Babli, for the act. But, Farah Khan thought it was better to outsource it to some hobo for lesser number of bananas than Babli would have consumed and it would be less embarrassing too.
The soulful and meaningful jingle that it is, it has been compellingly flushed down the veins of the modern day TV channels. And with what results! If Kapil paaji and Sidhu paaji (no pun intended) can move their bodies to this national rejoice, then the youth of this nation can definitely join in unabashed. 'Jumping Japang Jampak Jampak!' This encapsulates the spirit, the enthusiasm, the literacy rate, and the number of people with a high tolerance capacity for bullcrap in India. Even Jaadoo from Koi Mil Gaya has threatened to unsubscribe from the channel, which airs its film 24x7, after his kids went crazy and his powers could not heal them. In events, totally unrelated, the Delhi earthquake shocks were pinpointed to an epicenter other than the Hindu Kush. It all began when Farah Khan naïvely decided to force Mukesh Ambani's son do the 'Jumping Japang' at the Wankhede.
That being said, the IPL is a raging fever among the people in this country. IPL has united the country more than Arvind Kejriwal or Baba Ramdev ever could. If they had paid more attention to the current affairs, they could have nominated Sachin for their party leader and won by a landslide.
Personally, I might be branded as a fan of RCB. I love their attitude, I love the city. An uncertain Gaylestorm against the Pune Warriors made more headlines in India than the Hurricane Sandy or the Boston Blasts in the US. In short, the idea of a whole team is perceived as this one big Jamaican Monster who came from the ship from Captain Jack Sparrow. But as Sidhu says, 'Their batting line up is like an Indian cycle stand. If one falls, all fall.'
Shah Rukh Khan has strategically planned the shooting of his films just on the onset of IPL so that no one dares to make a news of him getting banned from the rest of the stadiums hosting the IPL. Shilpa Shetty and Priety Zinta have obviously fell short of ways of motivating their teams. Their teams have moved on since the days of hugging and dancing became clichés after every match.
Well, Delhi might not have done anything its fans would have loved, but its contribution to the on-field lingo is instrumental. Whether it’s an uprooted stump or a taken catch, the sheer amount of pleasure and pumping-up the players love to get by commemorating the mother and sister of the batsman who just got out, is phenomenal. Incidentally, Gambhir and Kohli were not auctioned by the Delhi because they felt that Delhi Police was already giving them a reputation that no one in the nation could forget. The news headlines across India nowadays reads 'Delhi Gang rapes continue, latest victim: Delhi Daredevils'
Talking about Chennai... Well, I would prefer not to. I may be tried for blasphemy towards the 'divine enlightment' Shri Shri Sir Ravindra Jadeja. He is no ordinary man. He has an uncanny ability to twist the fates of many a puffed-up cricketers around him. His reverend miracle of the CSK vs RCB match will go down inscribed in gold in the annals of IPL history. Too bad he refused the office of the Pope after Pope Benedict XVI resigned. (Some say Shri Shri Jadeja Sir came in his dreams and said - 'Tumse na hoga beta'). The legend lives on.
The stadiums have been jam packed every day, everywhere. This was a cleverly veiled plan for decreasing the number of rape and eve-teasing cases in each of the cities by the ruling parties. Theft and robberies have also gone down the charts because everyone's out there betting on their teams and increasing the economy of the state. Win Win!
But the crowd has still been getting their money's worth. The cheerleaders! This season, I often wondered whether a body like PETA (for animals) exists for these poor souls. Fair ladies, makeup sloshed in sweat, bodies gyrating in the charring heat and uneasy smiles on their faces. They seem to dance on a cue as if Gabbar Singh has held Viru (no pun intended) and said 'Jab tak chhakke padege, tab tak tere paw chelenge'! No wonder why some of them have threatened to quit if Gayle and Pollard play in the same match. Come to think of it, Rohit Sharma is a frightening sadist who only waits for the IPL to torture these lovely ladies and seldom bothers the scoreboard otherwise.
Of course we might argue about excavating new talents from the earlier neglected regions of India in the light of IPL. It has given a reason for young blood to make their career more lucrative and some oldies like Debashish Mohanty and Sanjay Bangar, a reason to sulk and weep in their sofas. Except for the fact that some celebrities of the past are still riding on their aging horses. Gilly and Ponting have been the hitmen of their times, but common, you cannot be like Sachin in this lifetime atleast! You are not old wine in a new bottle, you are yesterday’s left over soup, however good you may have been. It’s time to explore other options what else you can do with your body, down under (no pun intended). And being a sensible human being, I’ll simply refuse to write about India’s favorites – Ashish Nehra, Ajit Agarkar and Lakshmipathy Balaji lest I draw a flak from their fans.
Intriguingly enough, the thing that I’ve been concerned about is the army of mind-numbed people grooving to 'Jumping Japang' that it is breeding every day. I mean, I am OK with the initiative that BCCI has taken up to create at least 10 million cheerleaders in India by the end of this season. But seriously, they could have atleast not shown the hairy orangutan of man dancing on the instructions of its ringmaster (read Farah Khan). From the news in smaller print it was revealed that they had initially hired a real orangutan, Babli, for the act. But, Farah Khan thought it was better to outsource it to some hobo for lesser number of bananas than Babli would have consumed and it would be less embarrassing too.
The soulful and meaningful jingle that it is, it has been compellingly flushed down the veins of the modern day TV channels. And with what results! If Kapil paaji and Sidhu paaji (no pun intended) can move their bodies to this national rejoice, then the youth of this nation can definitely join in unabashed. 'Jumping Japang Jampak Jampak!' This encapsulates the spirit, the enthusiasm, the literacy rate, and the number of people with a high tolerance capacity for bullcrap in India. Even Jaadoo from Koi Mil Gaya has threatened to unsubscribe from the channel, which airs its film 24x7, after his kids went crazy and his powers could not heal them. In events, totally unrelated, the Delhi earthquake shocks were pinpointed to an epicenter other than the Hindu Kush. It all began when Farah Khan naïvely decided to force Mukesh Ambani's son do the 'Jumping Japang' at the Wankhede.
That being said, the IPL is a raging fever among the people in this country. IPL has united the country more than Arvind Kejriwal or Baba Ramdev ever could. If they had paid more attention to the current affairs, they could have nominated Sachin for their party leader and won by a landslide.
Personally, I might be branded as a fan of RCB. I love their attitude, I love the city. An uncertain Gaylestorm against the Pune Warriors made more headlines in India than the Hurricane Sandy or the Boston Blasts in the US. In short, the idea of a whole team is perceived as this one big Jamaican Monster who came from the ship from Captain Jack Sparrow. But as Sidhu says, 'Their batting line up is like an Indian cycle stand. If one falls, all fall.'
Shah Rukh Khan has strategically planned the shooting of his films just on the onset of IPL so that no one dares to make a news of him getting banned from the rest of the stadiums hosting the IPL. Shilpa Shetty and Priety Zinta have obviously fell short of ways of motivating their teams. Their teams have moved on since the days of hugging and dancing became clichés after every match.
Well, Delhi might not have done anything its fans would have loved, but its contribution to the on-field lingo is instrumental. Whether it’s an uprooted stump or a taken catch, the sheer amount of pleasure and pumping-up the players love to get by commemorating the mother and sister of the batsman who just got out, is phenomenal. Incidentally, Gambhir and Kohli were not auctioned by the Delhi because they felt that Delhi Police was already giving them a reputation that no one in the nation could forget. The news headlines across India nowadays reads 'Delhi Gang rapes continue, latest victim: Delhi Daredevils'
Talking about Chennai... Well, I would prefer not to. I may be tried for blasphemy towards the 'divine enlightment' Shri Shri Sir Ravindra Jadeja. He is no ordinary man. He has an uncanny ability to twist the fates of many a puffed-up cricketers around him. His reverend miracle of the CSK vs RCB match will go down inscribed in gold in the annals of IPL history. Too bad he refused the office of the Pope after Pope Benedict XVI resigned. (Some say Shri Shri Jadeja Sir came in his dreams and said - 'Tumse na hoga beta'). The legend lives on.
The stadiums have been jam packed every day, everywhere. This was a cleverly veiled plan for decreasing the number of rape and eve-teasing cases in each of the cities by the ruling parties. Theft and robberies have also gone down the charts because everyone's out there betting on their teams and increasing the economy of the state. Win Win!
But the crowd has still been getting their money's worth. The cheerleaders! This season, I often wondered whether a body like PETA (for animals) exists for these poor souls. Fair ladies, makeup sloshed in sweat, bodies gyrating in the charring heat and uneasy smiles on their faces. They seem to dance on a cue as if Gabbar Singh has held Viru (no pun intended) and said 'Jab tak chhakke padege, tab tak tere paw chelenge'! No wonder why some of them have threatened to quit if Gayle and Pollard play in the same match. Come to think of it, Rohit Sharma is a frightening sadist who only waits for the IPL to torture these lovely ladies and seldom bothers the scoreboard otherwise.
Of course we might argue about excavating new talents from the earlier neglected regions of India in the light of IPL. It has given a reason for young blood to make their career more lucrative and some oldies like Debashish Mohanty and Sanjay Bangar, a reason to sulk and weep in their sofas. Except for the fact that some celebrities of the past are still riding on their aging horses. Gilly and Ponting have been the hitmen of their times, but common, you cannot be like Sachin in this lifetime atleast! You are not old wine in a new bottle, you are yesterday’s left over soup, however good you may have been. It’s time to explore other options what else you can do with your body, down under (no pun intended). And being a sensible human being, I’ll simply refuse to write about India’s favorites – Ashish Nehra, Ajit Agarkar and Lakshmipathy Balaji lest I draw a flak from their fans.
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