Statement 1: Give
a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him
for a lifetime. The Chinese once spoke some wise words sitting in their smug ‘communist’
native land.
Statement 2: Hindi-Chini (and a few Italians) bhai bhai.
Adding Statement 1 and
2: Let us implement the Food Security Bill and turn God for the poor of our
country overnight, says the Congress.
Conclusion:
Election time is approaching at warp speed and the only way to save the
government's already red bottom, is to be hardcore populist. The nation’s
already reeling economy can go to whichever hell it can choose from.
QED.
The Food Security Bill has been passed! At the fag end of
its "regime" in India, people have seldom realized the fact that
Madamji really cares about a nation which is so insecure about itself. So
security in any form would surely be welcomed unhindered. Deprived people would
get the benefit of subsidized cereals and pulses, which is.... great.
"Emancipation of the downtrodden - let's do it in a
day's job!” Rahul Gandhi exclaimed clutching his mom's sari, which is
also...great!
At times when the onion prices are competing with gold
prices and the rupee is gaily enjoying a roller-coaster ride, the whopping ` 1.27 lakh crore a
year budget in subsidy is apparently what the "doctor ordered" for
the nation; UPA-2’s – family doctor - Dr. Manmohan Singh. Apparently, people of
the poorer sections will just need to sit back, relax, and wait for the free
morsel which will be delivered door-to-door by the storks that the government
has appointed for the purpose. These people will no more be disillusioned by
the white lies of the government to create/give jobs, a dependable income
security or an empathy that they too once held the dignity to command wages for
their hard toil, when they had jobs at all.
I imagine this conversation is what might have transpired
some months back somewhere in the dignified corridors of a safe-haven called
Delhi.
Rahul Baba: "Mummy, I have an billion dollar idea.
No, literally. Why not just give away free food to the poor so that they can
feed me whenever I go to their home during the election campaigns like I did earlier?
Last time I ate in one of their homes, 4 of their kids just looked at my plate
hungrily. I felt bad. And mamma, I promise you I'll take an Odomos cream and Kent water purifier with me this time when I go for a
sleepover."
But then his mother asked, "But who will pay for the Odomos and the water-thingy you'll take
with you? It's not like I have lakhs of crores of rupees in my account!"
To which, Rahul Baba says, "Mumma, why are the middle
class people so stingy that they won’t pay for the poor? They can surely pay
for my Odomos."
A light bulb appears over Madamji's head then. "Hmm...
beta, I'll pay for the Odomos. Remind
me to propose a bill in which the middle
class people, who have somehow managed to find jobs and dig their way out
of poverty, would pay for the food for the ‘poor’. I dunno how they did it, we
never created any jobs for them as far as I remember."
Rahul: "Mamma! You are genius. These people can surely
pay up for this scheme. If they can buy onions and daal at ` 100 , petrol for ` 85, and still hope
for better education after wringing out money from selling their lands and
gold, they can surely think of some 'charity'.
I tell you mamma, these people always fall for 'schemes'. Hahaha!
They are so rich mamma. In our parliament canteen, we only spend ` 1.50 for a bowl of
Daal, chapati for ` 1,
a plate of rice for ` 2.
(http://www.dnaindia.com/india/1865973/report-parliament-canteen-only-place-where-you-can-get-a-hearty-meal-close-to-rs12)
See? And they grumble and complain if we say you can survive
for less than ` 32/day.
In fact mamma, are we below poverty line right now?"
"Yes we are beta. But you don’t worry. Odomos is of primary concern now. What
do you say beta, some 15 thousand crores from the budget will be enough for
your Odomos na? The rest we can give
away. Plus we can always brand those who
oppose this bill as anti-poor and unpatriotic. Total Win Win!"
"Mamma, Did Manmohan daadu really do well in economics?
I bet he would have failed in the oral exam/ viva voce."
Yes he did beta, but why worry? Chiddu uncle is also there na. He said some old scheme by the name
of Antyodaya Anna Yojana (AAY), the Below Poverty Line (BPL) and the Above
Poverty Line (APL) can be sold to the parliament in a new form. We can call it
the ‘Food Security Bill’. Eh? What do you think?"
"Super mamma! But mamma, if they question us about the
rising suicide rates of the farmers and the rotting food grains and pulses in
government warehouses, hoarding and black-marketing, what will we tell
them?"
“Tell whom? The opposition? Ah! I think they would have done
the same, they'll understand. “
“No no, the people!”
“You mean Arnab Goswami? “
“NO mamma! The people of our adopted country! “
“Oh you mean Indians. I thought you were talking about our
folks back in Italy. Indians are a very busy breed. They'll forget it in a day
or two. Leave that. Let’s make the most of our time in power now beta. Ye kursi na milegi dobaara!
Ti amo mamma! (I
love you momma!)
Ti amo figlio! (I
love you son!)
And so the Food Security Bill was passed as an overhead to
the national debt, opening yet another legal avenue for one more string of
phony scams. I wonder why they don’t patent the name of the Bill as “Vote
Security Bill”. They can surely earn royalties from every political party for
the rest of their lives as pocket money.
