Love ain`t so easy!

Have you ever fallen in love...Whoa...That was precisely not what I intended to mean...I meant `love`,falling in which makes u a complete nerd.It makes u do things stupid enough to make you feel you have conquered Mt.Everest the living moment and then makes yourself jump off its peak  the next moment when you realize what a jackass you had been. But again,you were stupid all the same…And in `love` too.

Take for example the case of my friend Piyush and his girlfriend Nishu. And for the sake of India being the largest democracy in the world and we being so proud of it…this incident didn’t happen to me!!…as I have grown tired of explaining it to all and sundry. Oh common!

Well things got a little bit weird on the 14th of Feb 2006 with Piyush and Nishu while we were back  in our home town Balasore & studying in the 12th grade.Well it got funnier the next day when I spat out all the coffee in my mouth on his face when I heard about it from Nishu at my home.

And oh! In my story, I get to be Piyush. Are you reading this Nishu? Watch out…
Okay! It all started when I (Piyush) felt that Nishu and I should be together on the Valentine’s day some `cool` place.It went like this:-

Nishu-So, where do you wanna go? We have no tuitions today, I can’t think I can dodge my mom with that excuse.

Piyush-Can’t u go to Lily’s home today for catching up with chemistry notes?Well, not actually…

Nishu-Will try that.Ok! Where?Your house?

Piyush-Wha… Are u insane? Meri mummy ghar par hi hai.

Nishu-Well, if I go public then I’ll surely be in trouble. Is it your home or not then? Otherwise main chali Sherlock Holmes padhne.

Piyush-Sherlock Holmes? Got tired of Winnie the pooh so soon?

Nishu-Shut up!

Piyush-Ok! Will try to do something now.I’ll call u soon.Don’t be late then ma`am.

Nishu-See ya.

10 minutes later I get ready to confront my mom. What all things u have to do when u care so much about ur gf…Blah! Blah!

Piyush-Mom, I’ve got something to tell you.

Mom-Better make it quick.I’ve got daal to fry.

Piyush-Kya mummy…it’s more important than frying the daal!You’ve got to be better than this.

Mom-I don’t have a hint of what you’re trying to say!

Piyush-Come here maa.See there?

Mom-Yes!It’s aunt Neetu. Why?

Piyush-Well,can’t you see how much pain she is in?She’s looking sad mom.

Mom-`Pain`eh? Teri tabiyat thik hai to? Jaa thermometer le kar aa.

Piyush-Maa!!!

Mom-Okay! I see she’s sad.She seems the same every other day.What’s the big idea?

Piyush-You haven’t talked to her in months mom.She needs you now.NOW’s your chance to mend old follies.

Talk about being melodramatic and here is a guy who’s being the same all for the sake of getting his mom to vacate the house for his girlfriend…And that too desperately.

After mom laughed away my talks…a little while later…

Mom-I guess you `re right. I’ll visit her after lunch.

I couldn’t believe my luck at first.This better be true.

Piyush-No no no no….you’ve got to go now.NOW is the time she needs you.Kya pata kal ho na ho?After all she`s sad NOW.

Mom-But…

Piyush-Kya maa…jaao naa.I’ll fry the daal.

Mom-What….

Piyush–Just go!

I was literally pulling her out of the kitchen.

Mom–Okay!I’m out.But turn off the gas after 3 whistles of the cooker.I’ll be back in an hour.

Piyush-Nahi nahi maa….aap aaram se aao…4-5 ghante baad aao.Main hoon naa.

Mom-I don’t like where this going beta… but if I see any of your friends in the house and you not studying …tab Pain me kaun hoga beta you’ll get to know….

Piyush-Yes maa… Ab aur chaara bhi kya hai???

Mom-What did you say?

Piyush-Kuchh bhi nahi maa…

Aunty ko mera hello bolna..

10 mins later…

Piyush–Jaldi aa.We’ve got 3 hrs in hand. Don’t make it late. Ready to hai naa?

Nishu-Nope! Mujhe laga tu apni mom ko pata hi nahi payega.To main aaram se Sherlock Holmes padh rahi thi.

Piyush-Hey bhagwan!…Kaisi ladki se paala pada hai mera…Tujhe patana meri mummy ko patane se aasan tha,ladki.1 paise ki izzat nahi deti mujhe….

Tu jaldi aa to…

33 mins 49 secs later…

Nishu-I’m here Piyush. Open up.

Piyush-Shit!

Now let’s rewind that much on Piyush and see what happened meanwhile…

Piyush-Jaldi beta…room saaf karle warna fir koi comment maaregi...

After the room is done,I set out on a mission to steal red roses from my neighbour’s garden. (His story of stepping on his neighbor’s cat’s tail is yet another episode I’ll tell u later). 20 mins later I proudly lay down the well earned roses on the table in my room.

Suddenly there is a knock on the door.

Piyush-Aa gayi...I said rubbing my palms.(I Opened the door in yet another of my filmy ishtyles)Jaan!I`ve been waiting for you.Aakhikaar tu aa hi gayi…(lending the red rose to her)

Let’s call her `the voice on the other side`.

Voice-Kyaa??!!Oye chhokre?Ye kya nautanki hai?Sabji kharidna hai to bol warna ek chapal aisi khyaega ki yaad rahega.

Piyush-(Like a snake just bit him)-Na na na na mausi…main to mazak kar raha tha...chapal achhi hai…aapke pairo me hi achhi lagti hai…1 kilo bhindi de do…warna aaj raat baingan khaana padega…

Voice-Ye le…mummy nahi hai?

Piyush-Nahi hai….Plz maa ko mat batana…Main kal 5 kilo bhindi loonga aap se.

And slams the door.It`s exactly 33mins and 49 secs now.The door bell rings.

Piyush–Aa gayi madam ….shayad?(peeps through the hole)

Nishu-Piyush, I’m here.

Piyush–Shit!!

Nishu-Huh?

Piyush-Nah!Nothing!U didn`t have trouble getting here did you?

Nishu-Wow!Where did u get the flowers from?And why do they have cat hair all over them?

Piyush-Arre kuchh nahi yaar.Wo to bas...

Nishu-They smell so nice.

Piyush-The fragrance is from the room freshener dumbo.

Piyush-How unromantic!

She picked up the flowers and drew closer to me."They are sweet...just like you", she whispered in my ear.

Piyush-You mean it?

Nishu-Of course I do,you idiot!I love you.

Piyush-So do I.

There was a brief silence.I kissed her.I was over the moon.These were THE moments and all the trouble was worth it.

Piyush-You look gorgeous in this blue top.What does it say...`HOT BABE`...cool.

Nishu-So?What now?Let`s catch a flick,shall we?

Piyush-Yep!Got this movie on air-`P.S.I Love You`. Wanna watch it?

And we sat down on the couch with some popcorns and lemonade.(P.S.I Made Them)

90 minutes flew past and we were completely into the movie.I loved holding her hands and she loved to pinch
my ears. The game was on.

We literally had forgotten the world around us when I sudenly heard a noisy autorickshaw stalled before our main gate.

I took a peek out of the window.

Piyush-Bhag meri maa...bhaag!Jaldi mere room me ja.Meri maatashri padhaar rahi hai.

Nishu-Wha...?!

Piyush-I`m f***ed! Mom`s here.I... She glared angrily at me.

Oh!Sorry...no bad language.I showed her a i-am-zipping-up-my-mouth sign.

Oops!Ihad just started panicking.

She headed for my room whilst I darted for the door.The knocks had just began to be converted into bangs.

Piyush-I`m coming,I`m coming.

I opened the door.

Mom-Where were you?

But I was already on my way to my room.

Mom-Oye!Kahan jaa raha hai?

Piyush-Abhi to padh k utha.Main khelne jaa raha hoon.

And with that I banged my room`s door close.

Piyush-Quick!Nikal khidki se bahar.Common!

I helped her out.I shut the window.I opened my door nad zoomed past my mom.

Mom-Jaldi aana beta...

Icouldn`t hear the rest,Iwas already behind my room`s window.

Nishu-Kya kare ab?

Piyush-Tu chal mere saath. I held her hand and started walkin briskly,leadin the walk.

Par naa jaane mere saath raahu-ketu ki kya dushmani hai,hamesha sahi waqt par galat aur galat waqt par sahi
kaam karwa dete hai.

Main jo apni gf k liye hero banke aage aage chal raha tha uska harzana mujhe bhugatna pada.She caught up with me.

Piyush-Kya hai?Tez nahi chal sakti?...See the parody?I just said that when I accidentally stepped on a dog`s tail.It yelped in pain and put all of his rabid teeth in display.

Piyush-Bhaag meri maa...bhaag!

We started running like mad.For some strange reason,the dog didn`t follow us.We stopped below Neetu aunty`s balcony panting for breath.

Nishu-Why do always call me as your`maa`?Main teri maa nahi hun.
I was just going on to expalin that when I saw her jaw drop down and eyebrows go up.

Piyush-What?

She just pointed something behind my back.Now I knew the reason why the dog didn`t follow us.Behind me was a hatta-kaata mustanda charging bull like that on the Deccan Charger`s Tshirt(only looking more dangerous).

Nishu-U are doomed man.He`s charging at your red T-shirt.

I gulped.Par chamatkar ko hone se kaun rok sakta hai?

Neetu aunty had just come out after washing her clothes.I had seen her.I was thus trying to hide from her view.She took the bucketful of the dirty water and un-noticingly threw it on the bull.And on R.The bull went away astounted.

Nishu-wht the F***?

Now it was my turn to give back the glare.She was unflinched,.

Piyush-Mind your language dear.

Nishu-Go to hell!Main ghar kaise jaungi?

Truly speaking,whenever a 60 watt bulb glows over my head,I always end up paying for it later.

Piyush-Ek kaam kar. Tu mera shirt pehen le.Ghar par kuchh bahana maar dena.

We excahnged our shirts.She caught an auto and headed home.

I just had enetered my home.

Mom-Kahaan se aa raha hai?

Piyush-khel kar.

Mom-Bahar jaate waqt to tune laal shirt pehni thi?

I looked at my shirt.It had magically turned into blue.

Mom-HOT BABE?Hmmm...

I was just beginning to blackout, when something occured to me.

Piyush-Kya maa,mere issi b`day par hi to Kunal ne mujhe chidhane k liye ye gift diya tha.Maine sharma kar aapko dikhaya nahi.

Mom-Sambhal k rakh.Tere to dost hi aise hai.Pichhli baar Chirag ne bhi ek rangeen underwear di thi tujhe.Wo rakhi hai ya nahi?

I didn`t have anything to say.Ijust smiled and ran into my room...

And with that I have just wrote down what I was itching to tell ya all since years,my friends.Hope Piyush & Nishu do not kill me after reading this!